Sober Living: Strive for Excellence & Master the Virtues of Healthy Relationships

How did your relationships suffer as you progressed down the spiral into addiction?

Human beings desire to fit in, to belong, to be part of a family, tribe, club, organization, and community.  To feel this connection you often gravitate toward members of your tribe who you feel connected with.

Before you chose sobriety, your relationships consisted of bartenders, drug dealers, and friends who abused alcohol and drugs along with you. Deep down you knew that these friendships were false. Most often you didn’t even consider the people you associated with as acquaintances.

As you became more entwined in your spiral downward, you pushed away those who wanted the best for you. You found a new tribe. A group of individuals to satisfy your desire to be accepted, fit-into, and belong.  These acquaintances were superficial, eventually leading to isolation.

During treatment, you learned how vital new connections, healthy relationships, and communing with a network of positive sober support is vital to long-term recovery. Choosing to reside in a sober living as part of your aftercare/discharge plan encouraged you to establish healthy relationships.

Sober living opens the doors to a positive, sober support system. As you learn and grow with other peers, who seek the same goals of long-term sustained recovery. The residents and staff offer you the necessary support needed to maintain a life in recovery. Living and growing in a supportive environment helps you strive to build common skills and tools to achieve self-awareness.

Recover, restore, and rebuild healthy relationships residing in a sober living home

Learning to live in unity with others in a sober living house will take time and adjustment.  Your addiction has blinded you from living life in accordance with the values you aimed to achieve in younger years. It is difficult to rely on others because your character defects and shortcomings have filled you with regret and low self-esteem.

As you begin to set roots in recovery, you’ll long to feel connected with others who desire the same from life. Establishing healthy relationships is a vital goal for recovery. It is the way we grow into the greatest version of the self. Relationships are at the center of life, always motivating you to move forward.

In our previous post, you learned that isolating from those persons who bring you joy, hope, and love is common in addiction. As you begin to rebuild your life, you learn to restore balance and rekindle broken relationships. Restoration and rebuilding old relationships also opens the door for new relationships to grow.

Residing in a sober living home during early recovery will speed up the process allowing you to create bonds with peers in different stages of their recovery. These relationships will bring you feelings of comfort and safety.

Communication and Commitment

Connecting with peers with common goals for long-term recovery creates the emotional bonds needed to achieve success in a life of recovery.

Learning to communicate openly and assertively is vital for continued growth in all areas of life. For too long, your addiction has caused you to stuff your feelings deep down inside. Communicating your emotions to other peers and mentors residing in a sober home is vital to stimulate new growth and healing.

The Lighthouse sober living in Connecticut has weekly meetings which allow residents to express what is working for them in the home and create solutions to enhance the recovery community for each within the sober living environment.

Over time, you’ll understand how communication and commitment are vital to creating deep emotional bonds of healthy relationships. In these relationships, you’ll become dedicated to living a life of virtue.

It is your obligation to connect and embrace the support of your healthy relationships. As you make a commitment each day to participate with family, loved ones, and positive old/new friendships, you’ll experience gratitude and grace from knowing others are mutually interested in your achieving success.

Healthy relationships and sober living create a life of virtue

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”

-Marcus Aurelius

When you come to reside in a sober home, you might feel defeated, devastated, and unworthy of support. Confusion and fear fill your head causing you to distrust others. But as you learn to trust and value new friendships without the nagging persistence of craving a drink, you’ll begin to understand greater feelings of self-worth, happiness, and belonging.

Recovery is striving to live a life of balance aligned with “good” moral character.  

Persistent action to strive towards a life filled with a good moral character, you’ll feel good about yourself, your achievements, and your progress. Feelings of joy, happiness, and love raise your level of self-worth and esteem. Thus, creating a life of fulfillment and virtue.

The more you perceive your relationships as valuable the more you’ll feel committed to achieve and encourage others to grow. The equality and comfort you feel in healthy relationships push you forward to obtain and assist your peers to strive towards your hopes and dreams. Your new emotional bonds allow you to distrust your worry and fear. New feelings of respect for yourself and others emerge.

Due to participating and communing with others from the recovery community, your core values are strengthened.

These virtues found in healthy relationships assist you in striving towards becoming a man of excellence and good character.


Healthy relationships and bonds created in sober living homes offer you the ability to learn, trust, and heal. As you come to trust in yourself and others you will feel more aligned with the self.  

But none of us are experts when it comes to relationships. We all say and do things we are not proud of, but as you develop mindfulness and understand the need of peer bonds and sober support you’ll strive to be more assertive and mutually respecting of new relationships.

 The more willing you are to commune with others the more you’ll develop the characteristics defining a “good man.” You’ll come to expect and raise the standards used to maintain loving bonds found in healthy relationships.

 This concludes the introduction of our mini-series on how healthy relationships create a life of virtue. Over the next several blog posts you’ll come to understand the common values found in healthy relationships, how these virtues and why communication and connection are vital to living a life of excellence.

If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction and is interested in sober living in Connecticut, or recovery coaching in New York City and Connecticut - contact us today for help.

Head over to LinkedIn or Facebook and comment on how you feel your road to recovery is built on values and virtue: the characteristics of a good man.

John Makohen